Negative Buoyancy

Putting the blog on holiday. Will be back soon.

Wed, 23 May 2012 09:56:00 +0100

Sharing is caring

Wed, 02 May 2012 14:00:00 +0100

Dear readers, I’m sorry that I have been unable to put out this week’s blog post. I have had an extremely busy past few days…however, I do have a request.

Negative Buoyancy has grown far bigger than I ever imagined it could. It currently has a following of 500 individuals across 3 different social networks, and I would love for the readership to expand even further.

If you enjoy this blog and think the things that are written here are worth spreading, then never fear - I have enough weekly topics to last a whole year. In order for this blog to grow, I am going to need your help:

Please continue to like, share and comment on posts that you’ve read
Do recommend the Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr pages to others
Feel free to give me feedback on the usability of the site, and the quality of the writing

By doing all of these things not only will you help to pull in new readers, but you also help the written material to come across as something worth engaging with.

I appreciate you all greatly, and I promise to post: “I’d love to try some breastmilk” very soon. Take care!

Wooo! 200 followers on Tumblr. Thanks a bunch people!

Sun, 29 Apr 2012 23:04:46 +0100

"#falseconcept - ‘Adulthood’ Any given number of years is nothing more than a measurement of time...."

Fri, 27 Apr 2012 06:28:13 +0100

“

#falseconcept - ‘Adulthood’

Any given number of years is nothing more than a measurement of time. Regardless of how we define adulthood, it will start at different ages, for different people.

”

- words by Negative Buoy

Your birthday really isn’t that special

Mon, 23 Apr 2012 05:51:00 +0100

I stopped caring about birthdays a long time ago, but why exactly? Read on to find out more:

The celebration of birthdays is a tradition that has become so engrained in our culture, it’s easy to imagine the events that would typically take place in the day of a celebrant. You wake up in the morning feeling slightly more excited than normal. Any loved ones you encounter opt to uncharacteristically sing words in your direction. ‘Happy birthday to you!’ they sing, repeatedly, in what is possibly the most varied and inventive song ever. Your Facebook account is suddenly inundated with congratulatory messages from various individuals on your friends list. Double digits contained within the red notification counter? Score! Obviously, each and every one of those people cares about you, and wasn’t reminded about your ‘special day’ by their newsfeed. Cards in the post, phone calls, emails and text messages all day? Gifts? Cake?! You’re a bloody celebrity. You feel more special on your birthday than you did on the exact same day the week before – the month before even. It is because of things like these that I did away with celebrating my birthday long ago.

The main problem I have with the celebration of birthdays is the culture of obligation that surrounds it. It’s the “oh it’s so-and-so’s birthday so I have to send them a card”, or the “oh crap, I’d better not forget her birthday otherwise she’ll be really upset with me”. These sentiments really do suck the life out of what it means to care about someone, and freely show them that you do. In previous years I would trawl through my wall on Facebook, wading through a sea of identical posts from acquaintances of old, and people I went to school with years ago. But, on the year of my 20^th birthday, do you know what I did? I hid my date of birth from my public profile. By the time that particular birthday came around, 90% of the usual wall posts had vanished completely. The only well-wishers who contacted me were family members and a few close friends. Now I’m not saying that the fact that they remembered my birthday necessarily means anything. But it did give me a clear indication as to who had contacted me because they cared, and who had contacted me because they felt they had to.

Do hear me out though, I am not against birthdays. If you personally make it a priority to celebrate yours on a yearly basis, and have a great time doing it, then keep on keeping on. My issue is with those who place such a great emphasis on their birthdays that they end up ignoring the other ~360 days in the year. I say ~360 days because I am allowing for other occasions such as Christmas, Mother’s/Father’s Day, Valentine’s Day, New Year’s Eve and other anniversaries. These are all occasions that suffer from the same damaging over-emphasis that birthdays do. And I say damaging because our attitudes towards these telegraphed dates often skew and limit our behaviour. I’m sick and tired of being penalised for not remembering people’s birthdays, or feeling like I ought to when I’ve spent the entire year loving them and caring about them. No longer do I want to be contacted by distant family relations on an annual basis, when it’s clear my existence otherwise means very little to them. Whilst we may measure our certain aspects of our lives in quantifiable 365-day chunks, life itself does not rigidly adhere to these measurements. At any time people can move away, become ill, and in the most unfortunate of circumstances, they die.

We should not be celebrating dates, we should be celebrating people. If those celebrations happen to coincide with a ‘life anniversary’ of some sort then so be it. Sometimes convenience and coordination will prevail over spontaneity, due to our packed schedules and hectic lifestyles. Fine. Just as long as we realise that once the candles have been blown out, and we have chundered all of the alcohol out of our systems, that our lives – all of our lives – continue to be worth celebrating. Our happiness, expectations and behaviour should not be dictated by anything other than those around us. No more of this ‘delayed kindness’ either. Dear reader, if you have ever had a kind word to say to someone, a gift to give, a hug, a kiss, an apology – why wait until their birthday to do it? Why wait until a date to do it? Act upon such desires as soon as they enter your heart, because a person can quite easily disappear whilst you wait for the earth to complete another orbit around the sun. It doesn’t make any sense to think in terms of ellipses.

I’m sorry if I have given you the impression that I hate birthdays. I really don’t. I would just like us to remember why we celebrate them in the first place. I also owe you an apology for only half-completing the title of this post, because the reality of the situation is this: your birthday really isn’t that special. You are.

If you have been touched by the words in this post, or if you can simply relate to what I’m saying, please like, comment ‘n’ share. There is also a poll taking place on the Facebook page: ‘Do you celebrate your birthday?’ your answers are appreciated!

Next week’s post: ‘I’d love to try some breastmilk!’
Last week’s post: ‘Hang on a minute…women have willies too?’

"#falseconcept - ‘Beauty/Ugliness’ There exists no accessible, objective standard by which to..."

Wed, 18 Apr 2012 21:03:00 +0100

“

#falseconcept - ‘Beauty/Ugliness’

There exists no accessible, objective standard by which to measure outward appearance. There is no beauty or ugliness - only attraction.

”

- words by Negative Buoy

“Hang on a minute...women have willies too?”

Mon, 16 Apr 2012 23:19:00 +0100

So…a few posts ago we spoke about breasts, and now we shall move on to penises. Female penises:

I spent most of my childhood in the dark – ‘innocent’ some might say. Nobody talked to me about sex when I was growing up. The furthest I ever ventured into the realm of reproduction, was watching childbirth scenes in films and television shows. I could never quite connect the dots between the perspiring, huffing and puffing mother on screen, and the eventual screech of her newborn baby. With zero information to go on, I didn’t have a clue what ‘down there’ looked like. I had always envisioned the female genital area as a completely smooth, fleshy expanse, sort of like what you would find on a life-sized Barbie doll. It is because of the ignorance that I had to grow up with, that I now see great value in talking to others, and educating myself about sex as much as possible. This led me to read some information a few months ago, which shed light on a few things I was quite unaware of…

Just to get rid of any ambiguity, the title of this post is of course, referring to the clitoris - the biological equivalent of the penis. For some time, I have been aware of its equivalence to the male anatomy; its sensitivity as an organ; and its potential as a source of sexual pleasure for women. What I wasn’t aware of was the fact that the clitoris is actually endowed with a pair of ‘legs’. In the past, in any of the discussions I have had regarding the size and appearance of the clitoris, the organ has always been likened to a small button or a pea. Sound correct to you? As it turns out, such comparisons do not do it justice at all. Only a few months ago I discovered that the clitoris is shaped less like a button, and more like a ‘wishbone’. It is a highly complex internal structure (capable of sustaining erections!), which easily rivals the penis in size. The visible portion of the clitoris (the clitoral glans), is merely the ‘tip of the iceberg’. Upon making this discovery, bemused, I quietly accepted the idea that women not only had willies, but that they occasionally had boners too.

You may at this point be asking: ‘why does this man seem so fixated on clitorises?’ My answer to you, dear reader, is that all of the information I presented above has only really been around since the ‘80s. The fact that this discovery managed to emerge so late can be attributed to the internal nature of the female genitals. Observations are simply much harder to make in women than in men. But, it must be noted that it is also an indication of a long standing social attitude towards women: the idea that they are reproductive beings, not sexual ones. Historically, obtaining pleasure from sexual acts was seen as something which concerned men, and so the incentive to conduct research in this regard was not particularly great.

I also read about how the elusive, internal nature of the clitoris has led to misconceptions in the past. One notable example is the idea that the vagina itself is a source of physical pleasure. In the earlier half of the 20^th Century, Sigmund Freud formulated his ‘vaginal orgasm’ theory. This went on to have a great influence on the way women approached penetrative sex, and tried to achieve orgasms with their partners. Unfortunately, his theory also managed to de-emphasize the role of the clitoris during intercourse. Given the fact that women began to neglect the very part of the body they should have been paying attention to, this caused penetrative sex to become a frustrating and unfulfilling ordeal for many of them.

Regarding the social perception of women as ‘reproductive beings’, I think things have moved on quite a bit. Sometimes though, the legacy left by this attitude still manages to rear its ugly head every now and again. The ‘Player vs. Slut’ double-standard is a prime example. You know, the idea that promiscuity in men is seen as a sign of some sort of world domination - meanwhile, women are expected to ‘keep their legs closed’. Female promiscuity is often seen as intimidating, and something to be frowned upon in comparison (this is a double-standard which I hate, but more on that in another post).

The beauty of the female body lies in the fact that it is so complex. To be honest, I am envious of the fact that I cannot claim to possess an organ that exists solely for the purpose of physical pleasure. Some of you may already have been aware of what I have just spoken about, and some of you not. To the former – if you are still here – thank you very much for reading. To the latter, well, making use of the information in this post should come in handy at some point. Whether you choose to share it with others, or ‘keep it to yourselves’, is completely up to you.

I’d be interested to know: were you aware of any of the details mentioned in this post? As always, if you enjoyed reading, please like and share!

Also, make sure to have a look at this link for an excellent article on the internal structure of the clitoris:http://blog.museumofsex.com/the-internal-clitoris/

Next week’s post: ‘Your birthday really isn’t that special’
Last week’s post: ‘Even Jesus took drugs, occasionally’

My Little Gay Haiku.

Thu, 12 Apr 2012 06:26:00 +0100

I sometimes wonder what it would be like to experience a shift in sexuality, leading me to write this poem:

If I became gay,

for only a day, I’d be

…more or less the same.

People are not their sexual preferences. To judge them as such would be to overlook a significant portion of their being. If you agree with this message, please share this haiku so that others may too.

Even Jesus took drugs, occasionally

Tue, 10 Apr 2012 00:10:00 +0100

I understand that the title of this post may seem offensive to some, but that is not the intention. Please hear me out:

Over the past week, I have spoken to a number of people about the title of this week’s post. Their responses can quite easily be divided into two camps. There were those who replied with intrigue: “Oh, Jesus took drugs? That sounds really interesting – I’d love to see how you’d explain that”. And those who replied with outrage: “Where on earth did you get this information from, surely Christ did not do such a thing?!” Yet, my response to all of them was to ask that they give me a chance to justify my claims. Jesus is no doubt important to many people, including me, and I do not write on here to disrespect others or belittle their beliefs. However, I do see value in looking at things from a different perspective. I do still stand by my initial claim; I do believe that Jesus did indeed take drugs from time to time.

His intoxicant of choice? Alcohol.

I think that the word ‘drugs’ has a tendency to conjure up images of harmful, illicit substances. Fact is, most of us have taken drugs at some point in our lives. Caffeine (found in energy drinks, tea, and coffee) and Nicotine (found in cigarettes) are just two examples of commonly used drugs. I can imagine that most of us have used Paracetamol or Aspirin for the purposes of pain relief at some point also. What bugs me about the word ‘drugs’ is that it is typically used to refer to harmful, illegal substances. This in turn changes the way that we perceive other substances, even if they are just as harmful. As far as drugs go, Alcohol is extremely potent, and has the potential to be quite damaging. The source of the outrage that I faced during the week doesn’t have anything to do with disrespect. It is the result of one of the largest ongoing marketing campaigns in the world, bearing the tagline: ‘Alcohol isn’t a drug. It’s a beverage’. I mean, it’s mad. It’s like going into a pet shop and having a breeder point to one of the animals and tell you: ‘This isn’t a dog. It’s a poodle’. *Facepalm*.

Dear reader, I’m not saying that people shouldn’t take drugs. In fact, it doesn’t bother me at all - so long as they do not negatively affect me, or those close to me. I am just calling for a bit of consistency. A few weeks ago I had a pretty surreal experience in which I spent an evening with a group of friends who were all pretty intoxicated, courtesy of an illegal-but-not-so-harmful-substance-that-I-am-not-going-to-advertise-here. I personally choose to abstain from drugs as fully as possible for personal reasons, and so didn’t take any. Aside from medicines and Caffeine, I have only ever tried Alcohol in the past, and the few run-ins I had with it weren’t particularly fruitful. But my friends, having taken the drug, were transformed into the most caring and elated individuals I have ever witnessed. As I sat in the room, watching grown men lovingly embrace and declare their undying love for one another, I couldn’t help but wonder why it was against the law to ingest the substance in question. The availability of alcohol and cigarettes illustrate the fact that even though a drug has the potential to be harmful, it can still be perfectly legal. Furthermore, I believe that legality need not always inform our opinions on whether we think something is okay or not. This brings me quite nicely on to a drug which I feel could do with being perceived a little differently: Cannabis.

The cannabis plant has received quite a hard time over the decades, and to this day, remains the most commonly used illegal drug in the UK. Its only saving grace seems to be the fact that it can be used medicinally within certain contexts. I first became aware of the drug as a teenager, when many of the people in my secondary school started to use it. Due to several factors such as my upbringing and the legal status of Cannabis, I saw its use as something to be frowned upon for a long time. However, after doing some research on the drug itself, particularly on the positive and negative effects it can have on the body, I have long since had a change of heart. There are several facts surrounding the drug that I was completely unaware of, and there are certainly too many for me to describe within this post. What I will do though, is share two documentaries with you at the end of this post, as they shed a lot of light on why Cannabis is in the position it is in today.

If I have taken anything from the fact that Christ Himself used drugs, it’s that there is no need to regard any one substance as inherently bad. Consuming too much of anything, even water, can be harmful. Therefore, whatever our choice of drug, it is probably best used responsibly.

Do watch these documentaries:
The first is an American Documentary called: ‘The Union: The Business Behind Getting High’.
The second is a BBC documentary called: ‘Cannabis: The Evil Weed’.

These films are definitely well worth a watch, with my preferred of the two being the BBC documentary. Drop by and let me know what you think of them in the comments below.

Next week’s post: ‘Hang on a minute…women have willies too?’
Last week’s post: ‘Obviously, manly affection is always gay’

"#falseconcept - ‘Human sexuality is binary’ In humans, sexuality exists as a spectrum...."

Sat, 07 Apr 2012 22:21:00 +0100

“

#falseconcept - ‘Human sexuality is binary’

In humans, sexuality exists as a spectrum. Most individuals fall somewhere between exclusive homosexuality and exclusive heterosexuality. Asexuals do not feature on this spectrum at all.

”

- words by Negative Boy via Alfred Kinsey

You like me, you really like me!

Fri, 06 Apr 2012 16:21:00 +0100

Dear readers, a quick message for you all:

Just one week ago, I asked for your help. In fact, I asked you to like me - and all you responded in a big way.

I would like to say a massive thank you to all 100 Facebook followers, and all of my followers on Tumblr and Twitter also! I am very grateful that you have taken the time to read and share the written material on Negative Buoyancy. I promise to continue to take your feedback on board, and to keep the posts ~~mildly controversial~~, thought provoking and interesting.

At this current moment in time, one can only describe me as feeling like this.

As always, if you happen to know anyone who would enjoy any of the posts you have read so far, please do send them my way. See you on Monday!

Obviously, manly affection is always gay

Tue, 03 Apr 2012 02:54:00 +0100

This week I’ll be talking about the unspoken limitations placed on affectionate interactions between males - within my personal social circles. No homo.

Have you ever been out and about and seen large groups of young children on organized trips? They can sometimes be identified by the colourful bibs they’re made to wear, so as to remain distinct from the general public whilst they are out. I’m often amused by the sheer amount of space they take up when marching down the street, walking in pairs, often holding hands with each other. Whenever I see two young boys holding hands in such a scenario, I cannot help but think about how differently they would be perceived if they were say, ten years older.

Hand holding, arm linking, kissing and hugging are just a few examples of physical displays of affection – ways to show others that we care. Verbal displays, such as saying: ‘I love you very much’ or ‘I miss you’, are just as potent. On the whole, the women in my life seem to display such behaviour towards each other just fine. However, within my own social circles, guys seem to struggle in comparison. This is sadly the case even when the guys in question do genuinely care about each other. There seems to be a belief that by crossing such a delicate social boundary, we men run the risk of tampering with our sexual preferences. I am just as guilty of it too, but I’m also aware of how silly the whole thing is.

Sometimes I laugh at some of the social dilemmas I have had in the past when interacting with other guys. I can quite clearly recall one occasion when I had a male friend over to visit. We bonded over some sort of meaningless gaming session, ordered in some food, and wasted hours watching silly Youtube videos – in short, the day had been perfect. And then the time came for him to leave. As I walked towards the front door to bid him farewell, an internal debate began to rage wildly in my head: “How exactly I am going to part with my dear friend?” “Should I round out the day with a loving embrace, or with a cool nod of the head?” “What will he think if I lean in?” “Come on now! You’ve known him for ten years, just hug this man!”

In the end, the conclusion to this internal debate outwardly manifested itself as a sterile and uninspired bro shake. Bleurgh. The ‘bro shake’ you ask? Anybody who has seen a hip-hop music video in the last ten years knows what a bro shake is. It consists of a high clasp handshake, followed by a simultaneous union of the torsos (but not too close!). Both participants then complete the shake by reaching around each other with their free hands, in order to mutually deliver a swift pat on the back. Dear reader, the end to that particular visit could not have been any more anti-climatic. Deep down all I wanted to do was hold him, as I would have done with any female friend. Thankfully, things are going much better for me as far as hugging goes, and it gives me great joy to be able to embrace my male friends. Kissing and holding hands however, are a work in progress which I am unlikely to complete; a consequence of living in Britain more than anything else.

Whilst I do feel that socially, women do often get the short end of the stick, I have often envied the level of freedom afforded to them when it comes to outward displays of affection. I do sometimes wish that I could kiss another guy, in a completely heartfelt way, without feeling like I had to jump out of the nearest window immediately afterwards. I want to be able to leave xxx’s at the end of my texts and emails without freaking out whoever may be awaiting my correspondence at the other end. I tire of having to find the nearest available female whenever I want to experience anything beyond a fleeting cuddle. I want to be able to stroll down the street with a guy, my arms linked in his, without feeling the need to turn it into some sort of joke, by skipping. And I wish I could tell my male friends that I love them, without making myself sound like Will Smith in my head because I think it will make me sound cooler: “I luh you mayn”, “You mah dawg mayn”.

Guys, if there are any of you reading this and you have suffered the torment I have suffered, the next time you see a male friend; reach out to him, touch him, kiss him – do whatever you have to. Show him that you care, because you never know how long he will be around for. Do it because it is good, and because it is right. Just be respectful of his personal space, and the law, in the process.

Thanks for reading guys, sorry I was a bit late this week. Life is by no means permanent, and we should feel free express ourselves with others, regardless of their sex. Go forth and spread the love today!

Next week’s post : ‘Even Jesus took drugs occasionally’
Last week’s post: ‘Why I wouldn’t want my woman waxed’

"#falseconcept - ‘Alcohol is not a drug’ Alcohol is a legal, widely available and..."

Sat, 31 Mar 2012 21:39:00 +0100

“

#falseconcept - ‘Alcohol is not a drug’

Alcohol is a legal, widely available and culturally accepted depressant. As with any other drug, its comsumption can give rise to both positive and negative side effects.

”

- words by Negative Buoy

I just want you to like me...

Fri, 30 Mar 2012 11:20:00 +0100

Attention all Negative Buoyancy readers! I have a few things I would like to get off my chest and into your brains:

This may be news to some of you, but when I first decided to start writing, I had intended Negative Buoyancy to be a secret. I needed an outlet at the time, and I didn’t think anyone would necessarily want to read what I had to say. Twenty days in, and I could not be more thankful to those who have taken the time to read and share what I have written on here, and I would like to call on you for your help.

I am aware of the fact that not everyone has a Tumblr account, and so I currently use the Negative Buoyancy Facebook page to gauge the amount of readers I have, and to update them whenever I post something new on here. If you enjoy visiting this site, and happen to know anyone who you think will too, please do encourage them to ‘like’ the Facebook page. Should I reach 100 likes, I will most certainly ~~do something stupid~~ use the blog to mark the event some way or another.

Oh, and another thing! From now on you can expect my main posts to appear here every Monday, with occasional, smaller postings during the week.

I am aware of the fact that the request I have made in this post may not benefit you directly, but by taking it up you will be contributing greatly to my happiness. Thank you.

Why I wouldn’t want my woman waxed

Tue, 27 Mar 2012 08:56:00 +0100

Today I’d like to share my thoughts on hair removal in women. This is a practice resulting from a cultural norm that has actually saddened me a little recently:

I’m sure we can all agree that men have been attracted to women, in some capacity, since the beginning of humanity. I’m touching upon the idea that even before the existence of make-up, toothpaste and deodorant; men were able to find something worth pursuing in the opposite sex. Here we are millions of years later, and that attraction does not seem to have faltered. Why is it then, that given how much simpler the requirements for attraction once were, the modern definition of ‘attractiveness’ seems to be so convoluted? For instance, we currently have a concept of beauty which dictates that women should remove hair from certain parts of their bodies, as female body hair is seen as too masculine. However, this idea only originated in the early 20^th Century, and is practised in a way that doesn’t even begin to make sense. After only a few decades of advertising and marketing, women now find themselves in a bizarre situation where the removal of body hair seems to go up in importance, the further down the body the offending growth occurs.

Imagine a conversation between an early man and the modern woman on the ‘rules’ concerning hair removal. I can only imagine his confused responses during such an exchange:

“So you like long hair on your head? Alright, but not the eyebrows, you like to pluck those. Does one pluck eyelashes? No? Fine. Long eyelashes. Do you like long hair anywhere else? Sure. Gotcha. No leg hair, no armpit hair. But arm hair and facial hair are OK…sometimes? Ah! It’s stomach hair that is unacceptable. I’m guessing the same would apply to pubic hair then? Oh, only when in a relationship. Bravo, how considerate of you…”

Dear reader, let me ask you a question: if women truly aren’t supposed to have body hair, then why does it seem to grow on almost all of them? As a young teenager, for me the very first signs of hair on my body were something to be embraced and celebrated - it was symbolic of the fact that I was on my way to becoming a man. It saddens me to think that had I been born with female sex organs, I would have resented its appearance, and probably would have been encouraged by those around me to hide/get rid of it. If we lived in a world which was honest and fair about the way people looked, we would accept women for who they were, and define feminine beauty so as to be compatible with natural human development. To any females who may be reading this, your womanhood need not be purchased from a laser, razor or waxing company. Anyone who attempts to convince you otherwise is either trying to control you, profit from your insecurities, or both. I do recognise though, that in the real world, some aren’t as accepting of uniqueness as they profess to be and others just aren’t accepting at all. Sometimes it’s simply easier for us to conform in our own special way.

When I was in secondary school I remember having a conversation with three other girls, in which I told them that: “the only place a woman should have hair is on her head”. Not only am I ashamed of the fact that I could ever say something like that, but I am also slightly disturbed. As I mentioned in a previous post, smooth, hairless skin is typically found in infants and prepubescent children. There are schools of thought that allude to the idea that the practice of body hair removal in women developed as a way for them to appear more youthful and attractive to men. I do not see a need for females to have to drastically alter their physical appearance in order to appeal to anyone, and a change of perspective is definitely in order. I am not trying to advocate a widespread celebration of female body hair, but more an indifference to its existence. Therefore, should a woman want to remove it for the purposes of hygiene, or to change her appearance according to her own personal preferences, I see no reason why she shouldn’t. However, suffering financially, risking being cut, burnt or experiencing pain in order to comply with a nonsensical societal norm isn’t okay. It also happens to make a handful of people on this planet very rich.

I am a guy who doesn’t mind if a girl chooses not to shave her legs, underarms or pluck her eyebrows. Some may find this unusual, maybe even abhorrent, but I happen to think it is fair. Ultimately, the reason why I wouldn’t want my woman waxed is because I know how ridiculous I would find it, if it were asked of me.

Thanks for reading folks. If you enjoyed reading this, you’ll probably enjoy reading: ‘On the subject of breasts…’ too. I would be more than happy to hear from anyone who shares the sentiments expressed in this post. Also: 50 likes on the Facebook page, yay!

Next week’s post : ‘Obviously, manly affection is always gay’
Last week’s post: ‘I wish life was like a videogame’

"#falseconcept - ‘Female body hair is unfeminine’ Androgenic hair is a key feature in..."

Mon, 26 Mar 2012 07:56:00 +0100

“

#falseconcept - ‘Female body hair is unfeminine’

Androgenic hair is a key feature in both adult sexes. Smooth, hairless skin typically occurs in infants, prepubescent children and sufferers of disease.

”

- words by Negative Buoy

Check these websites out:

Fri, 23 Mar 2012 20:31:00 +0000

Hey there, I just thought I’d do a quick roundup of the different blogs and vlogs I have been following recently. Read more to find out about these four sites:

http://la-chef.tumblr.com

First up is Munch., a blog on cooking and recipes. It’s still quite new, so please follow it on Tumblr, like the page on Facebook, and give the posts some time to start rolling in. I have had the pleasure of tasting some of the recipes myself, and the author of Munch.is incredibly good at what she does.

http://www.gamelitist.com/category/columns/invisible-walls/

Next, is the Invisible Walls column on Gamelitist, a series of articles that focus on the world of gaming from an academic perspective. All too often, such literature is aimed at a casual audience. For gamers, this column could represent quite a refreshing departure from the norm.

http://youtube.com/AyyOnline

Thirdly, I was recently introduced to Ayyonline’s Youtube channel. This channel features the irate rantings of a Nigerian youth from South East London. I happen to find his videos quite funny but please note, they all contain adult themes and naughty words. Follow him on Twitter: @Ayyonline.

http://ducktoid.com

Lastly I have been following Ducktoid.com, a tech and gaming website. I happen to know one of the writers there personally, and when it comes to the world of technology, I can only honestly describe him as an absolute nerd. Make sure to check out the site, and follow him on Twitter: @GameGagdetGreg.

I hope one of these sites happens to be of interest to you. I’m sure they’d all appreciate it if you let them know who brought you there!

I wish life was like a videogame

Wed, 21 Mar 2012 21:38:00 +0000

This post is dedicated to Anne. Do you ever wonder how different things would be if you could Continue beyond the ‘Game Over’ screen? Or if people actually had to work to get past Level 1?

Towards the end of last year, I worked at a second-hand electronics store. I had just taken a few months out from university, I needed to make ends meet, and a very special individual helped me to get a job until I was due to return. The shop was located right in the heart of Croydon town centre and was often packed with customers, which was especially the case during the Christmas period. Life at the shop was challenging but sometimes repetitive, due to the fact that I worked as a sales assistant. My colleagues were absolutely brilliant to work with, and interacting with cheerful, friendly customers really made my time there worthwhile. Not only did I have to sell to customers, but they could also sell their goods to the store: phones, DVDs, games and laptops, to name a few.

Now, I don’t want to tar the entirety of Croydon with the same brush - in fact, I can’t, as many of the locals seem quite content to do the tarring for me. At work, I encountered many vile customers who were rude, racist and sometimes violent. Some would come into the shop with the aim of selling items that were simply not worthy of purchase, and then throw temper tantrums when their goods were turned down. Doesn’t it seem like some of the worst people in life are often endowed with power and ability, but lack the maturity and experience to match? I wonder how different such people would be if life worked more like a videogame?

My parents split up when I was about 11 years old, and it was an experience that went on to shape my views on parenting, and what it means to be a parent. Even though I am currently unsure as to whether I would like to have children of my own or not, I am certain of the fact that I am not yet ready. If parenthood worked like a videogame, you’d best believe that there would be a lot less people having children. Games rarely give everything away at the very beginning. In order to motivate people to play, progress is often rewarded with new powers, and the ability to access areas that were not initially made available. It is an unfortunate fact of life that the ability to produce sperm is given freely to almost every man. You could be the most considerate person in existence, or an abusive alcoholic – it doesn’t make a difference. Wouldn’t it be better if by completing a given amount of responsible acts, and taking on a sufficient amount of childcare, you earned the right to procreate? You could be picking up a younger sibling from school for instance. Imagine the startled looks on the faces of those around you, as you finally received this long-awaited, Pokemon-style message: “Congratulations on reaching Level 47. You have now learned ‘Ejaculate’. A lifetime of carefully considered impregnation awaits you”.

No one is perfect. I have definitely done some things in my life that I wish I could take back. I would actually like to take this opportunity to apologize to Ashley, Anita, Becky, Eddie and Eric’s sister, for the wrongs I have committed against them (they should know who they are). Sometimes I feel like I could do with a couple of extra lives; the ability to insert another fifty pence piece and give certain parts of my life another attempt. You can rely on people to forgive you for the things you have done, and learn from your experiences, but unlike the world of videogames, the past can never be completely erased. There may be some of you who disagree, and perhaps you are right. What I am essentially asking for is a life free from negative consequences, which could be a very dangerous situation indeed. I acknowledge that one of my personal flaws is my inability to move on from the past, but I can only be honest. There are some times when I which I could eliminate some of my previous actions and experiences completely.

Overall though, I am quite happy with life as it is. The idea of being controlled by an omniscient, omnipresent ‘player’ does not really bode well with me. I appreciate the excitement and unpredictability that life can bring. I love to experience relationships and feelings, and I am only just learning to cherish the positives, and do away with the negatives. Yet at the same time, it would be handy to be able to cause my body to double in size, by completing the simple act of consuming a multicoloured mushroom. And when I say double in size, I do mean all of me.

Thank you for listening to me ramble on. Thank you for the likes on Facebook. Thank you for the overwhelmingly positive response in regards to what I have posted so far. I will continue to do so for as long as you are willing to read.

Next week’s post : ‘Why I wouldn’t want my woman waxed’
Last week’s post: ‘On the subject of breasts…’

Portal Buoy

Wed, 21 Mar 2012 05:58:00 +0000

I have been up since 2am, and my body is refusing to return to a state of unconsciousness. I see nothing better to do at this time than to tell you a story:

For those of you who are unaware, aside from writing and poetry, I am quite into graphic design as a creative outlet. When coming up with an idea for the Negative Buoyancy logo, I envisioned the image you can see on the left. However, a reader quickly brought it to my attention that my logo was quite similar to the image you can see on the right. For the non-gamers amongst you, the image on the right is the logo for ‘Portal’, a relatively recent and very popular 3D puzzle game. If you ever get the chance to play it, give it a go. It’s pretty short, and encourages the brain to think ways I have never encountered in a videogame before. I have only played Portal once, and that was over two years ago. Yet it is quite clear that the experience left quite a firm imprint on my sub-conscious. Anyway, I find coincidences like this quite scary. I am equally as mystified by déjà vu and vivid dreams - you know, the ones that tend to spill over into reality and have you worried that you’ve run around naked in public or something. Or perhaps that is just me.

I have no intention to change the logo. I like it, and to be honest, Negative Buoyancy is not about to take over the world any time soon. But I will offer a precautionary apology to Valve, the developers behind this truly memorable game. Sorry.

For anyone interested in seeing Portal in action, I’m one step ahead of you. I will return after my body decides it is time to sleep with a new blog post for you all. Good morning.

On the subject of breasts...

Mon, 19 Mar 2012 20:14:00 +0000

In this post I will be talking about a part of the human body that is close to the hearts of many. Why do we seem to care about them so much? Should they be seen as indecent? How do I currently feel about them? I will share my thoughts on all of the above in this slightly unusual post.

Today I will be focusing on the topic of breasts. Boobs. Titties. Puppies. Mahatmas. And whatever else kids are calling them these days. I would like to delve into the world surrounding these two - often elusive - mounds of flesh. My personal relationship with breasts seems to have changed as smoothly as my transitions from infancy into childhood, and then into adulthood. I find it rather amusing that I spent the first twelve months of my life having them shoved in my face on request, and then the next decade or so having them hidden from me at every possible opportunity. As an infant, all I had to do was cry, and my Mother was more than happy to oblige. Two decades later, I feel that the tables could not have turned any more. Attempting to weep in the general direction of women at this stage in my life would most likely leave me a very breastless and disappointed young man indeed. I don’t seem to recall caring about breasts very much as a child, yet as an adolescent, the mere thought of them was enough whip me up into a state of immature excitement. Thankfully, as is the case with any healthy relationship, as I have developed and matured, so have my feelings towards this particular part of the female anatomy.

I think existing attitudes towards breasts in certain Western societies could do with some progress to be honest. At one end of the spectrum, they seem to be very closely associated with fertility and femininity. I accept this association, considering the fact that they develop for many young women during puberty. In combination with other key changes during this period of time, their appearance helps to create a very clear visual distinction between the adult female body and that of a young girl. However, at the other end of the spectrum, breasts are outright sexualised and fetishized, worryingly, in a way that is widely accepted and practised. I recently had a conversation with someone in which they defined breasts as ‘sexual organs’. Dear reader, I could not agree less. If you put aside social conditioning, media portrayals and advertising, you are left with two milk-producing glands used to feed infants post pregnancy. Now, within the context of sexual activity, the breasts may be stimulated to elicit a sexual response, I get that. But taking this into consideration, at the very most, I would only really classify them as erogenous zones. The ‘attentive’ amongst you may be aware of the fact that these vary from woman to woman anyway.

Perhaps the least desirable outcome of the sexualisation of breasts is the way that it has confused our concepts of decency and beauty. I have always been puzzled by women who are happy to freely walk around in a bikini, but feel the need to hide themselves when in their underwear (forgive me, but aren’t they essentially the same thing?). The fact that breastfeeding women are often put off carrying out their motherly duties in public is highly unfair on the poor babies who don’t care about our crazy social conventions anyway. No woman should be made to feel that they are inadequate or lacking in beauty because of their cup size. Yet, entire industries continue to thrive upon the idea that ‘bigger is better’, enticing women to buy fillet ridden push-up bras and to pump their chests full of silicone, an exploitative practice that can sometimes go horribly wrong. There are many aspects of the female form that I would consider beautiful, and it would be nice if we could appreciate it in its entirety.

For us to start viewing breasts differently, all that is needed is a bit of maturity, and a healthy application of context. I appreciate that it is sometimes more practical for breasts to be covered up, but surely this should be done in the name of providing support, and not in the name of decency? Maybe if we went our entire lives without having exposed nipples being censored out of television programmes, magazines and social networking sites, we would get to a point where we just didn’t care about them as much? After all, it is nothing more than the desire to see the unknown, which motivates people - men especially - to go to great lengths to see them; enter: adult entertainment, voyeuristic behaviour and beach bound holidays to continental Europe. Context will teach us that if a female is in a state of arousal, then of course within this specific scenario, her breasts are more likely to perform a sexual function, and thus may be perceived accordingly. However, if a woman simply wants to be more comfortable in hot weather, change clothing in front of others, or breastfeed in public she should have the social freedom to expose her body to whatever extent she pleases, without being labelled indecent or provocative. After all these are freedoms that men enjoy, despite having large pectoral muscles, broad shoulders and muscular abs, features that they are not born with. (Yes, I know, men can’t breastfeed. Ha, ha, ha).

Do you think there is anything to be gained from a change in perspective in the way we view breasts? Or are you convinced that I am just a massive pervert? I’d love to know. Thanks for reading!

Next week’s post: ‘I wish life was like a videogame’
Last week’s post: ‘Why the hell would anybody want to be a vegan anyway?’